"It's getting back to how it see to be, I think anyway."
"How do to feel?"
"Me, I agree with what Alex has just said. I have difficulty as well but I'm learning too. We used to be able to talk about anything and everything. I guess we're getting to know each other again."
"I hope I can gain the trust in you again Fifi."
"You are doing?"
Stuart gets up, walks over to a cupboard where he gets some sheets of paper for both Alex and Fifi. He hands a sheet to each of them and they look at it.
"May I suggest this to you both? It suggests that between you both, you decide on a code on whatever you choose that is right to tell each other if yo are having a bad day and it gives guidance on how to deal with the situation. What do you think, could it work?"
Alex reaches out for her hand and holds it tight.
"I'm happy to give it a try."
"Same here."
"That's good then. Let me give you an example... Alex, you could be having a really bad day and may want or need some space. Then you can just sat one word like 'red' and when you're ready to talk, then you can say 'orange'. Or Fifi, you could be on a plane and feeling extremely anxious, you could signal 'red' and Alex will know. Together you would both work through the situation depending on the signal either of you give. Does this make sense? Hopefully, the end result will help you to understand how you both cope in your different situations and it'll by then encourage you to talk as you'll be recognising the signs."
"I think so."
"I'm with Fifi, will try it."
Fifi sits there twiddling her thumb.
"Are you okay Fifi?"
"Yes, is it better to talk about the past or just focus on the future? I don't ever want to push Alex away in anyway."
"I hope Alex doesn't mind me talking about him like this, but in our conversations we have spoken about the past in order for us to understand why we are at the point of where we are now. We are now in the process of focusing on the now and what he would like for in the future."
"I don't mind Stuart. And Fifi, I let you go once and I regret it. Okay?"
She smiles at both of the guys who were looking at her. Suddenly she becomes aware that this is becoming about her and she isn't so keen on this thought.
"Alex, I'd like you to carry on with what we've spoken about, taking each day as it comes. I also hope you both will try the communication experiment as I think it may help. I understand you have been through a lot together. Maybe each day, you could each record something nice that you do for the other person in this diary when you meet up and bring it next time we meet. It could be something so minor like making a meal or like that."
"Okay, sounds good."
"We haven't talked about whether Fifi wants to join us again yet."
"That's okay, I'll leave that decision with you Alex as these are your meetings."
"Can I ask a question , please?"
"Yes certain,y, what would you like to ask, Fifi?"
"What should I so in the event of Alex relapsing? Not that I am doubting him but it's a worry I have."
Fifi can feel a trickle of sweat running down her spine as she asks this, hoping that Alex won't take offence.
"In any case of this happening, we ask you to offer words of support and encouragement towards Alex. Be of a listening ear if he wants to talk but this is something we are trying to wok through. Perhaps doing something proactive, like exercising or even something creative be of help."
"Right, thank you."
Stuart finishes scribbling on his clipboard, places it on his desk and stands up.
"Thanks Stuart, I will see you next time then."
They shake hands and Alec runs off to the toilet while Fifi is speaking to Stuart.
"Thank you for allowing Alex to invite me along, I was really nervous. It has made me realise how much I struggle with communication so that task will help me just as much as it will for Alex. I want to be there for him and not let him down. When we first came back into each others lives again, I fought to keep my distance from him as I was affair of getting hurt by him like previously but I know I can trust him. I have always cared about him and always will do."
"I'm giving you this card with my details on it if you do ever want to talk, okay."
Alex comes walking back to the room to find Fifi and Stuart shaking hands. The three of them exchange their goodbyes and the pair walk out to the car. The thanks her for coming along with him and kisses her on the cheek.
"Fifi, I know it can't have been easy for you."
"It's okay, I hope you didn't mind me asking about the relapse."
"I'm glad you asked. It shows you care. Are you doing anything now?"
"Err... I haven't got anything planned, why do you ask?"
"Fancy hanging out with me?"
"Yeah, I'd like that. What have you got in mind?"
He stares into space trying to think of ideas...
" why don't we just park up somewhere and have a wander seeing where it takes us?"
"Sure,why not?!"
So they drive to some community centre and park up. He wraps his arm round her shoulders and they walk until they come across a bench so thy sit down.
"Do you get recognised much?"
"Sometimes. More if I'm with the Boys."
"Do they get annoying or whatever?"
"Hmm... Guess I'm kinda used to it. At the end of the day, they're just doing their job."
"I suppose it comes with the territory of what you do. Nick pretty much said the same thing when I asked him about it. If they see me with you or any of the Boys, will they go crazy?"
"I dunno, why? Does it scare you?"
"Not at the moment, I wanna be recognised for my own credit rather than just a Backstreet Girl etc. sorry if that subds harsh."
"Babe, don't fret about it. I know what you mean. Anyhow, they'll love you!"
"Why do you say that? Ha ha!"
"Cos you're cute, funny, kind, genuine, talented and gorgeous, that's why!"
"Aww you're cute!! Think you need glasses though!!"
Alex then pulls her in for a cuddle. For the rest of the day, they spend it together. Fifi starts to feel a little weary and they head back to her apartment. Reluctantly, he leaves her to rest by herself despite his hesitation of offering to stay. Once he drives off, she heads straight to bed and goes to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment