"Why is that, none of this is your fault Felicity?"
"I totally ignore Alex, he was trying to hard to be nice and then I just cut him short."
"Sometimes these things affect us differently and seeing your partner after losing a baby, can be difficult. Even though we know it's not the partner's fault, we find we blame them and punish them for causing us to be in the situation to begin with."
"It's complicated. I just don't know how to be around him."
"That's understandable. I'm going to let you get some rest while we wait for you to be moved, okay. It won't be long."
"Oh okay, thank you nurse."
Fifi lays there alone trying to force herself to go to sleep but no matter how tired she feels, sleep is the last thing she can do. Her heart is breaking into pieces. How one minute she can be a mummy to be and then the next, she's not. Life dealt a cruel hand to her. She starts thinking about everything, from her blossoming friendship with Alex, her career getting more successful by the day and having a loving, supportive family. Then Nick comes into her thoughts. He has always been so kind, supportive and very decent with her. That one night, that's got her into this horrid, devastating situation. It makes her smile reminscising over how they were with each other afterwards. Fifi knew he has issues from time to time but felt it is genuine what they have. This will have to remain her secret and she hopes to be able to deal with it by herself.
The nurse comes back to take Fifi up to the ward with another nurse. She goes to let the three friends waiting to know what is happening. They slowly make their way up to the ward and are ushered into another waiting room while the nurses settle Fifi into her new room. A new nurse, Laura introduces herself to Fifi and checks through the files.
"Where's Maddie? Do they know I'm up here now?"
"Honey, they're just in the waiting room. We wanted to get you settled and comfortable first. Can I give you something for the pain?"
"Will it numb the pain in my heart?"
She begins to cry and Laura reaches for some tissue to wipe Fifi's tears away.
"Aw, I'm really sorry but we can only give you something for the physical pain. Would you like me to call our friends in for you?"
"Please, Laura. I don't feel up to telling them about the baby, I only want them to know about the lump. I hope you can understand."
"Of course, we regard patient confidentiality very high here. Please press this buzzer if you need me, okay. I will be on all night. I'll find your friends now."
"Thank you, okay."
Again she is by herself and she looks at her surroundings. Plain peach painted walls with a framed picture on the wall. A big window on the left side of her where she can see various buildings and a little greenery in the far distance. She notices the television up in the far corner on an extendable arm and finds herself staring at the blank screen.
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